Over just now I’ve made up several iconic puns using the names of popular dog breeds. This work has been lauded throughout the dog pun community, yet largely ignored by the lame-stream media. Here at The Otter Room, we strive to appropriately recognize the greatness of me and my canine-based wordplay. Please enjoy this brief summary of the 5 best dog puns that I could think of right now, with a little behind-the-scenes look at the inspiration for each.
Person 1, “Are those jeans ruined? They’re full of holes.”
Person 2, “No, they’re just a tear-ier (Terrier) style.’
Long a favorite for the number one spot, as it was the first one I could think of only right now, this majestic pun was inspired when I looked down and noticed a hole in my very pants. Now, being honest, I did take a bit of artistic license as I am wearing flannel pajama bottoms and not the ventilated jeans mentioned in the famous pun. Let’s continue!
Person 1, “That’s an okay Dane.”
Person 2, “NO! That’s a GREAT Dane!”
This pun subtly plays on value judgments and the fragile situation in Denmark. It says, “Do not underestimate the Danes!”, while also bringing some levity to an otherwise oppressive subject. The seed for this stroke of brilliance came when I looked down and noticed that I’d dropped nearly a whole Danish INTO the hole in my pajama pants. The farce continues!
Person 1, “So you’re saying he’ll get anything from anywhere in Canada?”
Person 2, “No, you’re dumb, he’s specifically a Labrador retriever (Labrador Retriever).”
Oh boy, does the age old struggle to define an artistic masterpiece in words rear its ugly head here or what! I mean what to say? While surely nobody in the entire world could have possibly seen this most graceful of connections, certainly they will appreciate it. Newton had his apple, I had my Labrador Retriever which came into my home and ate a Danish out of the hole in the knee of my pajama pants.
Person 1 (at the pound on a rainy day), “Careful not to step in that puddle (Poodle)!”
Person 2, “That’s so bad, please stop.”
Now here we can see an avant-garde take on the pun. The author (me) takes a canny look at the life of a crafter of puns. This character is clearly a gifted iconoclast seen through the reader’s eyes, but in the world of the pun he is disrespected by the dastardly “Person 2”. How else to explain the genesis of this particular pun other than to say my roommate, whom I was bouncing ideas off of, was getting very frustrated and didn’t appreciate my dishevelment, the crumbs everywhere, or the strange dog that had entered our apartment.
Person 1 (in remote part of Russia), “Do you think I’m fat?”
Person 2, “No, you’re just Siberian husky (Siberian Husky).”
I’ll wait for you to pick your jaw up off the floor. You were reading this list thinking, “There’s no way he tops these! #1 is sure to be a monumental letdown!”, only to get to the end and be shown the beautiful phosphorescent pearl that is the #1 pun, possibly of all time. Yes, this Venus rose out of my mind-clam and into the world when my roommate grew even more infuriated and began questioning my fitness in no uncertain terms. I took his crude observations of my slovenly exterior and created something to bring joy into the world. You’re welcome, you’re all so welcome.