Bambino, Billy Goat, and Black Pearl – all curses that loomed over their respective franchises and/or pirating vessels like the blue-gray October sky looms over Our Lady’s University for 90% of the year.
But has there ever been a curse so fearsome as that from our very own Shotgun Sports? A simple sabermetric analysis points towards a resounding no.
First it came for Jeff Fisher, and I did not speak out – Because I was not a 58 year old man being paid millions of dollars to be the poster boy for the dying art of the goatee.
Then it came for Gus Bradley, and I did not speak out – Because I was not a 50 year old man being paid millions of dollars to use a 3-13 team to distract from the fact that the first attraction listed on Jacksonville’s Wikipedia page is “Confederate Park”.
Then it came for Fat QBs, and I did not speak out – Because I was not a 28 year old man being paid millions of dollars to be an NFL Pro-Bowler with a wife way out of his league and a slew of NFL records including “Most Almost Loses (Comeback Wins) in a Season”.
Then it came for Nick Saban, and I did not speak out – Because I was not a 65 year old man being paid millions of dollars to be ranked #1 in the college football world for all but the last 00:01 of the National Championship and *definitely not* paying his players more than the GDP of the Congo.
Then it came for Shotgun Sports – and I could no longer be silent.
It’s time to start facing the cold, hard truth. We knew we were getting into some dark shit when we started dabbling in curses, but we were naive and unwilling to accept that our actions might soon send the world crashing down upon our humble podcast.
It seems that just yesterday scenes like this were a commonplace occurrence on any given Monday morning after the debut of a new episode.
Then we start one curse and this happens.
So to the cursing powers that be, I’m waving the white flag. We promise not to purposefully curse anyone anymore. We got too big for our britches and I apologize.
Still, feel free to reign down your fury on any of our enemies at anytime, but do so on your own accord. I’m not saying that Clay Travis has been holding onto the #1 spot in our podcast category for too long, but I’m also not not saying that. Again, do what you feel is right. That’s just a little piece of information I wanted to throw out there just as an interesting aside without any suggestion that maybe you should curse Clay’s podcast.
And to our listeners, you’re not getting a free pass either. I can only spend so long in an Apple Store leaving 5-Star Reviews and Subscribing before Chad the Apple Genius realizes that I actually don’t give a fuck about the iPod Nanos I’ve been circling for the past half hour. Do your part.
Leave a 5-Star Review and Subscribe here, don’t let the curse win. See you next Monday.