Listen, once I get into a grocery store I’m basically a bird. If I see something shiny, colorful, or even remotely different… I’m gonna buy it.
So when I came across packaging like this:
It was absolutely game over.
As an engaged man, I’m very familiar with the Barefoot Family of wines.
Pro tip: if you’re even in a tight spot with your girl, bring home a bottle of Barefoot. It’s the most $6 get out of jail free card you’ll ever find.
In my mind FlipFlop is a subsidiary of Barefoot (I did zero research to verify, but they’re both feet wines so… draw your own conclusions). Since I’m an observant guy I know that the Pink Moscato variety is the ladies favorite so I figured: “I’ll bring this home and pass it off as a thoughtful gesture towards her”.
That was short lived. She saw right through me, we know each other too well.
*Blah blah making fun of me for buying this blah blah.*
I open the can and get the same satisfying pssstttt that I know from more manly beverages which inspires a glimmer of hope. Then I take a sip and… it’s just wine, it’s not even trying to be bubbly or unique.
If you’ve seen Arrested Development, it was the Ann of beverages. If you haven’t, go watch Arrested Development and I’m glad you didn’t understand this comparison.
I drink the whole thing and I’m not going to lie… I felt pretty duped.
Yeah it was yummy, but I got into the fizzy wine game for the fizz, not the wine. I got played, this pink can of bullshit played me like a damn fiddle.
I’ve never been a wine guy and I won’t become one anytime soon.
Thanks FlipFlop, maybe don’t stray too far from the footwear biz.