Et Tu, Hitchner?

After the presidential election, most noted that I became noticeably scarce around the Otter Room. One could walk in and see Ka Hin playing Counter Strike, Taylor programming some shit, Joe spouting meaningless catchphrases, and Beau being newly married. Where was I? I was resting and recuperating after two rather pretentious and wordy posts that threatened to torpedo my staff position at the Otter Room.

Little did I know that while I lay dormant, an evil and insidious member, WITHIN MINE OWNST SITE, would rise, and spew vile blasphemy across our red, white, and blue mascot. This man will be referred to henceforth as Hitchner (although I invite the reader to read the “H” in Hitchner like it is a “B”).

Blinking my way into the blinding light of Hitchner’s treachery, I stumbled into the Otter Room. What greeted me was idiocy of the highest order.

An article about the Cowboys being good for America and the NFL? A jumble of words seeming to be more an incoherent attempt at expression of misunderstanding than anything resembling a thought? This had Hitchner written all over it; also he signed his articles.

Let us begin by looking at the Cowboys. Can any team with Jerry Jones at the helm be considered “the good guys”? The answer is no. Jones is a megalomaniac bent on inserting himself into any conversation regardless of how incapable he is. What other owner publicly makes announcements about who his starting quarterback will be? The man is a drain on the league and might as well don a black cape and go by Darth Sidious.

That may seem a specious argument, but why not use the dark and twisted logic of Hitchner himself to thwart the proposed “Cowboys are good for everyone” paradigm? In his faulty attack on the NBA, Hitchner asserts that what makes the NFL so superior is the parity in the league. If the parity in the NFL is so great, why would they need the Cowboys as their erstwhile saviors? While this may not disprove both points, this shows that in at least one argument Hitchner is leveraging his words against himself. I believe that while it might not necessarily show both arguments to be leaky, it will in fact prove to do so.

I give you part two of the Hitchner tragedy; the argument that the NBA is not worth watching. His argument seems to be based largely on his dislike of NBA coverage and his sickening obsession with winning over all. Not all NBA coverage is great, but is all coverage of any sport? There is a twitter handle entirely dedicated to the idiocy of Phil Simms and I have watched countless MLB pre-game shows where they give us the inside info that the game will be won by getting more outs with fewer pitches. If you don’t like the commentary just mute it or don’t watch sportscenter 24/7. As far as there being too many regular season games, or too many teams in the playoffs, that’s ridiculous. True lovers of basketball want to get as much as they can. It’s not always about winning or losing; sometimes it’s just about watching individual match-ups and enjoying a sport at its highest level. Sure, there might not be an upset every year, but you give me 82 games of angry Westbrook or growing Porzingis and who cares if they miss the playoffs. Even better is if they just make it in as an 8 seed; then I potentially get to see emerging players go against the best. The Knicks could lose to the Warriors in 4 and I’d be happy seeing Porzingis wipe that smug grin off Draymond Green’s face for a game or two.

In summation, fuck the Cowboys, long live the NBA.

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