The Brocketship has failed to launch…

This off-season former mediocre ASU QB, Brock Osweiler, signed a 4-year/$72 million contract with the Houston Texans. To a fanbase who has long seen their team as a QB away from contention, the program’s move to drop big money inspired confidence in the future. Houston had a pretty new toy.

As early season struggles continued, that confidence faded fast. Houston had a problem. The “Brocketship” had failed to launch.


But what did they expect? The $72 million Houston forked over to launch the Brocketship doesn’t even touch the $450 million it costs NASA to launch a rocket ship.

So it’s no surprise that Osweiler’s 59% completion percentage pales in comparison to the 99% success rate of the space shuttle program. Every time he puts the ball in the air, it’s Challenger waiting to happen.

Would you feel comfortable strapping into a $72 million space shuttle? I, for one, would not.

So maybe buck up Houston, you’re the home of NASA’s “Center for Human Spaceflight Activities”, be better.

If nothing else Houston made Osweiler the highest paid owner of a “Live Life to it’s Fullest” tattoo, but I don’t see that quelling a frustrated Texans fanbase.


  1. I l’d ol at that last paragraph. For a moment, but just for a moment, it made the ever present sting of life-long Houston sports fandom bearable. Thank you, benevolent otter.

  2. Very well stated. At this point Brock is smack dab in the middle of the Matt Flynn, Matt Cassell and Scott Mitchell category. But remember, at some point, there will be another Tom Brady, unfortunately, the kid might be named Simeon.

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